Game Rant: The Aquatic Games

This game is made by assholes! The Aquatic Games is an Olympic style game where you have to do a few events. It was released for the Genesis/Mega Drive, Amiga, Atari ST and SNES (as Super Aquatic Games). The events are OK but the controls are SHIT! Don't worry though it stars James Pond and the Aquabats! Wait who the fuck are those guys?! James Pond is the only one who is slightly known since he stars in three other games. Yep four games in total. How many did you know? None? That's what I thought! Anyways back to the game...

The first event: 100 Metre Splash (get used to the aquatic puns) is a simple foot race, except you have to mash A+B as fast as you can for up to 17 seconds. Your opponent blasts off as soon as you begin and the game doesn't tell you what to do at all so you are left having to find it out yourself, which will cause you to lose at least the first time.

There is supposed to be a frog but he's already halfway to the finish

If you manage to beat that you get to the next event: Kipper Watching! OH BOY SOUNDS LIKE FUN GUYS! All you do is bounce balls off screen before they hit a kipper (which isn't even a word for seal). There are six kippers and if a ball hits one it wakes up for around three seconds before falling asleep again. If a ball hits the kipper before it falls asleep it runs away like the bitch it is. Even though there are six kippers if two run away. You lose. If you lose you have to start from the beginning of the game. So make sure you can do the 100 Metre Splash very easily!

It gets a little chaotic....

That's all I'm going to say about the game play because I've been trying to beat it for around thirteen years (I know I suck at it but still)! So off to the music!

The main theme is Ode to Joy for some reason but sounds so bad you want to rip your ears out, blend them and then drink your ear-liquid...... Gross, sorry about that!

The only joy I get is when I turn this shit off!

Fortunately I can't find anymore of the music on YouTube and I really don't want to record any of the music because that would mean I'd have to listen to it. If you want to listen to the rest of this shitty music then go on and play The Aquatic Games! I highly recommend you don't!

Well that's it. BYE!